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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24988684">Dancing on Ice, Walking Through Fire</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakeuptothemoon/pseuds/wakeuptothemoon'>wakeuptothemoon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural, Valdemar Series - Mercedes Lackey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bisexual Dean Winchester, Canon-Typical Homophobia, Canon-Typical Violence, Companions (Valdemar), Crossover, Dean Winchester Has Internalized Homophobia, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean and Sam are younger than in the show, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Gen, Heralds (Valdemar), John Winchester Being an Asshole, M/M, Mages, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Series: Mage Storms, Some knowledge of Valdemar Would Be Helpful, Telepathy, lifebond</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:49:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,883</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24988684</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakeuptothemoon/pseuds/wakeuptothemoon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sam Winchester is Chosen, his brother Dean knows he needs to keep an eye on him from the adjacent Artificers Collegium.  But when he saves Sam from a training accident, Dean ends up not only with a Companion and powers he never wanted but also a lifebond that challenges everything he knows about himself.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester &amp; Original Companion Character, Dean Winchester &amp; Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester &amp; Original Companion Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>67</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I highly recommend this truly excellent fic: "Winter's Herald" by leveragehunters (Monkeygreen).  Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16595939?view_full_work=true</p><p>The author of that fic has a very good Valdemar primer for anyone who needs a refresh or some knowledge to understand some of the terms.</p><p>Thank you to everyone who is reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam and Dean Winchester and their parents, Lady Mary and Lord John, were well-known at the Haven marketplace. Their small barony, just outside of Haven to the north, supplied the finest linen in Valdemar, and their family technique for “Companion White” made their stock in demand for summer Heralds Whites.</p><p>The Summer Market occurred mostly in the evenings, and tonight, three days before Midsummer, was clear and cool as the sun began to dim. The air was filled with the scents of spicy and good things cooking, and the brothers, both tall and nearing manhood, gravitated to the food stalls, leaving their parents to oversee selling the bolts of linen. The market wound up and around two squares in the merchants’ area, with stalls around the edges of the squares and seating and tables for patrons in the middle. It was a riot of color as well as smell.</p><p>“How much pie are you going to eat?” Sam asked even as he bought a peach handpie.</p><p>“As much as I want, thanks,” Dean said, taking two of the apple pies and nearly stuffing them into his mouth to show Sam up.</p><p>Sam rolled his eyes at his older brother. “Well, don’t make yourself sick before we have to go to the dinner at Lady Harvelle’s.”</p><p>Dean made a noise around his first pie. “I completely forgot, dammit.” He pocketed the other pie in his beltpouch. “If they try to get me to sit with Jo, you have to save me.”</p><p>“Look, you know that marrying her would be a big alliance for Father.”</p><p>“Sam, we’ve grown up together, she’s like a sister to me! I don’t want to marry her any more than I want to marry you!”</p><p>Sam laughed, tossing his head back and shaking some strands loose from his short ponytail. “I’ll do my best.”</p><p>There was a commotion behind the cobbler’s stand as a Companion came through the sidestreet and into the square. Customers moved out of the way, bumping into each other and knocking several pairs of boots to the pavement.</p><p>Dean turned at the chiming of the Companion’s bridle bells and silver hooves. It wasn’t unusual to see a Companion with no rider, but this one was decked out in its (his? hers?) journey tack, likely meaning it was on its way to find its Chosen Herald.</p><p>All the stories talked about the Companions finding their Chosen in strange and unusual places, sometimes away from Haven for months before they return with their Herald-Trainee. Queen’s Own Talia had been barely 13 and from the Holderkin, and so far was the only Holderkin Herald to come from the region. Their disdain for Heralds had not ebbed, even with one of their own (who they disowned) being so important to Valdemar.</p><p>The Companion had made its way around the first square and was now coming toward Dean and Sam as they walked back to their parents stall. The bells chimed again and again, and Dean was increasingly nervous as their lovely sound grew closer and closer.</p><p>He and his brother turned, and the Companion was right behind them, practically posing in the last beams of the setting sun. Its coat shown pink in the light.</p><p>Dean backed up to the stall behind them to let the Companion pass, expecting Sam to do the same. But he looked at his brother, and Sam was staring at the Companion, eyes unblinking, and the handpie he’d been carrying fell with a splat onto the stones. He didn’t notice the peaches squishing under his boots as he took a step forward.</p><p>They moved toward each other as if magnetized, eyes locked, until Sam was leaning his forehead against the Companion’s, brushing the not-horse’s neck with his hands.</p><p>“Well, shit,” Dean said, startling himself with the volume of his own curse.</p><p>Sam looked back to him from his reverie and said, “Dean, this is Dalian. He Chose me!”</p><p>The Companion shook his mane as he nuzzled against Sam’s chest, obviously very happy to have found his Chosen so conveniently located to the Collegium. <em>No long journey for him</em>, Dean thought, hoping that Sam and his new Companion weren’t listening too intently.</p><p>Dean was struggling to control his breathing. “What are we going to tell Mother and Father?”</p><p>Sam straightened up. “We can go tell them that I have to go to the Collegium. Right now?” He looked at Dalian, who nodded his head, obviously for Dean’s benefit. Sam could surely “hear” him. “Right now.”</p><p>Dean ran a hand through his hair. “I hope this means I don’t have to go to the dinner party.”</p><p>Dalian wickered a laugh, which Sam echoed, but Dean wasn’t laughing as they rounded the corner to the Winchester stall, where Mary and John were finishing up with a customer.</p><p><em>Father is not going to like this, at all</em>. Dean knew it. He only hoped he could make sure Sam didn’t get the brunt of it.</p><p>Mary turned to her sons and started at the sight of the Companion, to whom she bowed a little at the waist. Dalian lowered his head slightly in turn, which made John’s eyes widen.</p><p>“Sam, Dean, what is going on?” John asked, looking at both of his sons and then at Dalian again.</p><p>“Father, this is Dalian,” Dean said before Sam could speak. “Sam’s been Chosen.”</p><p>Mary clapped her hands together, a joyful reaction Dean had only seen a few times before. “Sam, Sam, this is wonderful!” She came around the booth and hugged Sam hard. “You’d already considering coming to Haven for schooling, this is even better! Even if you’re a little older than most of the trainees!”</p><p>“I’m 17, Mother, that’s not that much older,” Sam protested, hugging his mother back, Dalian bumping his shoulder with his nose.</p><p>John’s glower at the scene was something Dean knew too well. When he’d said he wanted to try mechanical things, new things coming from the Blues at the Collegium, his father had given him the same look. The same look when he’d wanted to study there, the same look when he’d turned Jo’s family’s marriage proposal down. That look was for Dean, not for Sam.</p><p>“He has to go to the Collegium now,” Dean said, the words rushing out of him. “And I’m going too, to keep an eye on him. I’ll enroll in the Blues and get to work with their mechanical engineers.”</p><p>John got two words into a long string of curses when Mary cut him off. “John, we have Adam and Charlie at home to help us, they’re both old enough now! These two need to do this—and Sam now has pretty much no choice!”</p><p>She turned to Dean, hands on her hips. “You sent the papers in, didn’t you.”</p><p>Dean nodded, Sam whooping as he did. “I knew it!”</p><p>Dean pulled a sheet of vellum from his shoulder bag, the blue wax seal of the educational collegium bright against the white surface. “I was admitted last week. I just didn’t know when to tell you.” He hung his head a little, trying to avoid his father’s eyes.</p><p>There was jingling as Sam swung up into Dalian’s saddle. “Let’s go! Maybe Dalian can give you a ride and we can make good time!”</p><p>Dean took a moment to take Sam in. He looked just right on Companion-back, like a fabled hero. Put him in Whites, and he’d be riding right into a ballad.</p><p><em>:Glorious Destinies get you Glorious Funerals:</em> a low male voice said, tickling the back of Dean’s head. <em>:I’ll keep him safe.:</em></p><p>No one noticed Dean jump, and John was not given the chance to argue as Mary threw her arms around Dean as well. “Go show them what you can do, the both of you! I’ll have your things sent up once we are done at the market. We are here often enough, we’ll see you soon! Oh, this couldn’t have worked out any better if the Lord and Lady Themselves were behind it.”</p><p>Dean hesitated, looking up at Sam, feeling the weight of John’s gaze. He knew that if they both left now, their father may never let them come home again, no matter how much he favored Sam.</p><p>Dalian chose that moment to grab Dean’s shirtsleeve and pull him forward. “He says it’s okay for you to ride to the Collegium with me,” Sam said. “But it’s a one time deal. Refuse and you’ll have to walk!”</p><p>Dean took Sam’s offered hand up and settled himself behind his brother. Dalian stood still while they adjusted and Mary beamed up at them. John finally said, “It sounds like you both are grown enough to know what you’re doing.” He paused, then added, “Come see your brother and sister when you can. You’ll be missed.”</p><p>“Missed so much!” Mary said, but her smile never broke. “But you’re going to shake things up there so do that first!”</p><p>Dalian turned, bridle bells ringing to match his hooves, and both brothers waved to their parents as the Companion bore them away from the market and toward the Collegium under the moonrise.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean had heard stories about the unusual speed and grace of Companions, but riding Dalian through the city and over the bridge to the castle and Collegium grounds, he understood immediately that the stories were true.  He was a good rider, Sam a little less so, but riding Dalian was like riding a cloud compared to the horses at home.</p><p> </p><p>They made excellent time and were soon at the Collegium gates, where a Herald-Trainee in gray let them in.</p><p> </p><p>Dalian stopped by an outer door to the large and imposing building.  Most of the windows were dark, but not all, and Sam and Dean slid down from the saddle.  As they did, the door opened, and young man answered, his disheveled black hair a stark contrast to his Whites, walking out on a stream of yellow light and carrying a lantern.  Unlike the lamps inside, the lantern held a bright white orb and no flame.</p><p> </p><p>“You must be Dalian’s new Chosen,” said the man, whose deep voice seemed not to match his youthful appearance.  He ignored the brothers’ pointed stare at the lantern light.  “My Companion alerted me that you were on the way.”</p><p> </p><p>He held the bright light up over his heads.  “Who is this?” he asked, indicating Dean.<br/>
<br/>
“Oh, this is my brother, Dean.  Dalian brought both of us here—Dean is going to be at the Artificer’s but we figured they didn’t have a night watchman to let us in there!”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, this is a little unusual but I think we can manage.”  The Herald smiled, lighting up his electric blue eyes.  “I’m Herald Castiel Ashkevron—no, no, I’m a cousin, I’m not related to any of the famous ones.  Come on in, and we’ll get Sam set up and tested.”</p><p> </p><p>“Tested?” Dean followed Castiel inside while Sam bid Dalian farewell for the night.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, it’s standard practice now for us to test all the newly Chosen for Mage Gift.  It helps us figure out what their schedule will be.  It’s still rare, but if the new trainee is going to be especially powerful, it helps for us to know and make sure nothing strange happens.”</p><p> </p><p>Sam caught up with them, and Castiel led them through several halls and up a flight of stairs to what looked like a study.  “Wait here—I’ll see who’s on the schedule for checking for Mage Gift tonight.”<br/>
<br/>
He left them in the cozy room, the brothers looking at each other.  “Shit, Sam,” Dean said.  “What do you think is going to happen?”<br/>
<br/>
Sam seemed to be still be floating on the new joy of his Choosing.  “We’ll figure it out.  I bet I barely have any Gifts.  Probably something dumb like Far Sight!”<br/>
<br/>
Dean shook his head.  “I doubt that.  You’ve always been good at everything you tried, this shouldn’t be anything different.”<br/>
<br/>
“You’re exaggerating, come on.”</p><p> </p><p>The door opened, and Castiel came through, followed by two people Dean recognized after a moment of complete incomprehension.</p><p> </p><p>Herald Elspeth, her hair shocking white around her youthful face and dressed in the most unusually beautiful Whites he’d ever seen, and her consort, Darkwind, the Tayledras Adept, stood in the doorway.  Dean blinked a few times.  Castiel was handsome, any fool could see that, but Darkwind—he was like a carving, some sort of ideal of male beauty.  His white hair was waistlength, with beads shining in a single, thick braid down his back.  Elspeth wore a single feather on a beaded chain in her hair, but Darkwind’s had many more feathers woven into his, a pattern reflected many times in his clothes, which were similar to Elspeth’s in style but a dark blue in color.  A single ring glinted on his hand.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’m in a tale.  Sam’s going to be in a ballad, but I’m going to pass out and they’ll write a song about his idiot brother.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, so you’re the new Trainee!” Elspeth said to Sam, who looked only slightly less boggled to see the heroes of the realm in the flesh.  “Darkwind and I just happened to be on duty tonight, so don’t worry.  I’m Elspeth.  We should be able to get this done quickly.”  She looked at Dean.  “Who’s this?”<br/>
<br/>
“Sam’s brother, Dean,” Castiel answered.  “Sam said he’s doing to be at the Artificer’s but came with Sam and Dalian tonight.”<br/>
<br/>
“It will be so nice to have family close,” Elspeth said.  “Not all the trainees are so lucky.”  She walked over to Sam.  “Now, I’m going to test you for Mage Gift.  It won’t hurt, but it might feel a little strange.  Just don’t move.”<br/>
<br/>
Sam held still while Elspeth put her hand on his forehead and closed her eyes.  Time seemed to stretch.  Elspeth’s expressive face went from interest to concern.<br/>
<br/>
She took her hand away and opened her eyes, fixing them on her consort.  “Darkwind, get word to Firesong.  We’ve got ourselves an Adept.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“A what?!” Sam exclaimed.</p><p> </p><p>Elspeth and Darkwind shared a chuckle.  “You have a very strong Magegift, Sam,” Darkwind said, his Valdemaran only slighted accented.  “Much stronger than most of the newly Chosen.  Elspeth and I are Adepts, as is Firesong, of whom I’m sure you’ve heard.  So we will need to make sure you get special attention.  You have such high potential that you will need intensive training.”</p><p> </p><p>Sam just nodded, looking pained.  “I thought… I thought I’d barely have anything to contribute.  This isn’t what I thought.”<br/>
<br/>
Elspeth smiled, patting his shoulder.  “I was surprised to find out I was an Adept as well!  If it makes you feel any better, you also have strong Mindspeech, ThoughtSensing, and Far Sight, all of which you’ll be trained for.”<br/>
<br/>
Dean took all this in with wide eyes.  Castiel caught his eye and made an expression of sympathy.  He then turned to Sam and said, “Every Herald contributes.  I just have Sight and enough Mindspeech to speak to Landry—but I’m able to use those Gifts to teach.  You’ll do great.”<br/>
<br/>
Elspeth nodded.  “That’s right!  Castiel is one of our best teachers, an expert on mental and physical shielding because he can See them so well!”  Castiel smiled and blushed a bit at her praise.<br/>
<br/>
“But since you have high potential, I’m going to ask Darkwind to help me put an alarm on you.  You won’t notice it, but it will be like a bell so that he and I will know if something goes wrong or if you reach for something you shouldn’t.  Does that sound okay?”<br/>
<br/>
Sam nodded, clearly overwhelmed.  Elspeth and Darkwind spoke quietly to one another in a lilting language.</p><p> </p><p>Darkwind nodded at her and then turned to Sam and Dean.  “That was technical talk, but we will put the alarm on you now, Sam.  As Elspeth said, you won’t notice anything, but please try to relax.”</p><p> </p><p>Sam took a couple of deep breaths and unclenched his hands.</p><p> </p><p>Dean felt a rush of goosebumps as Elspeth and Darkwind both closed their eyes.  The room felt charged, like the build-up before a thunderstorm, but it only lasted a few seconds.</p><p> </p><p>“There we go,” Elspeth said.  “All done.  Now, I’m sure this has been quite a lot to take in, so I’ll ask Herald Castiel to show you to your room, Sam.  Dean, Castiel has alerted the servants to have a bedroll in Sam’s room for you for tonight.  The Artificer’s can get you set up tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>The brothers nodded and got up to follow Castiel to the promised room.  Elspeth and Darkwind smiled and waved as each group went their separate ways from the study.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you feel okay?” Dean asked his brother.</p><p> </p><p>“I do, I didn’t feel a thing.  But I feel a little weird about supposedly being so powerful.”<br/>
<br/>
They followed Castiel up some stairs and turned a few corners before coming to a hall with many doors on either side. “Your room is here, Sam,” he said, opening the door to small room, illuminated by a small lantern hanging above the desk.  There was a bed, small desk and chair and dresser, and a sink in the corner.  Dean’s bedroll sat at the end of the bed.</p><p> </p><p>“We will get your uniforms and things tomorrow, Sam.  I’ll come pick you up.  For now, get some rest.”  Castiel smiled and left them alone, closing the door behind him.</p><p> </p><p>Sam sat heavily on the bed.  “What a day.  And now there will be a lot of work.  And studying.”<br/>
<br/>
Dean took a seat in the chair.  “I’m surprised Father didn’t pull you off of Dalian’s back.”</p><p> </p><p>Sam made a face.  “I expected him to.  Dalian actually told me to get in the saddle before he had the chance.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thankfully, even Father knows better than to argue with a Companion.  But we’ll see if we get to go home for Midwinter celebrations.”  Dean hadn’t planned to voice that concern to Sam, but it slipped out. <em>It may be just me who can’t come home</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Mother won’t let him keep us from that,” Sam said, sounding confident.<br/>
<br/>
“I hope you’re that confident once they get you into training your magic powers,” Dean said with a teasing smile.  “Sounds like that’s going to be worse than training with our weaponsmaster back home.”</p><p><br/>
“Hells, the Weasponsmaster here is Kerowyn!  I’ll have to deal with her and with figuring out how to use whatever Gifts I have.”</p><p> </p><p>“You can do it,” Dean said.  “I know you can.”</p><p><br/>
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”<br/>
<br/>
“No, I’m serious!  Like I said before, anything you try, you do great at.  You can do it.  And you can always come talk at me about it.”<br/>
<br/>
Sam smiled a little more.  “Thanks, Dean.”  He stopped to yawn.  “I feel like I ran here from home instead of just riding in.  Do you mind if I lay down?”  He offered the bedroll to Dean.</p><p> </p><p>“’Course not, I bet I’ll need to get out of here early to get everything done at the Blues.”</p><p> </p><p>Sam got out of his boots and was asleep so quickly that Dean was barely done unrolling the bedroll and getting it set up.</p><p> </p><p>Dean laid down and stared up at the ceiling, leaving the small light on.  His brother was going to be a Herald, a Herald Mage like Vanyel and Elspeth.  Adam and Charlie would be able to help the family on their land.  <em>And I get to work with the engineers, like I’ve always wanted.  There has to be a damn catch.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Dean couldn’t get stop replaying the events of the night.  <em>Seeing Darkwind and Elspeth—they were so normal.  As if they told people they had dangerous powers and saved the world all the time!  And Castiel.  They say that any Ashkevron who doesn’t look like the rest of them leaves for Haven—it’s a tradition now.  What’s his story?</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Dean was thinking about a pair of blue eyes as he drifted off, the sound of a quiet rain lulling him to sleep at last.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean woke before the fifth bell, the unfamiliar floor prodding him to wakefulness before he felt ready. Sam’s steady breath was the only sound that could be heard as the dim light of the sunrise began to filter into the small room.</p><p>Dean carefully folded the bedroll and shook his brother awake. “Sam, you’ll need to get up and eat before you go to see the dean,” he said over Sam’s annoyed groans. “I have to go to the Blue’s anyway.”</p><p>Sam made a positive sounding noise but did not open his eyes fully.</p><p>“I’m sure Herald Castiel will be here to get you pretty soon!” Dean said, opening the door to leave.</p><p>There were more positive noises.</p><p>Dean rolled his eyes and headed down the hall, finding a page who gave him directions out of the trainee dormitory and to the Artificer’s main building.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Dean’s enrollment in a set of high level engineering, math, and mechanics courses took almost no time at all after the Dean found his application materials, and he was shown to a similar room to Sam’s, where he was measured for his uniforms and given a written class and chore schedule. Much like the Herald and Bardic Collegiums, the Artificers made sure that the students had a part in the upkeep of their school and in helping the staff. These changes had come after an incident some time ago, when several Blue students had tormented and nearly drown Queen’s Own Herald Talia. Many students from the upper echelons complained, but the rules did not change.</p><p>Exciting for Dean was the fact that his lunch time coincided with Sam’s, and he was able to eat with his brother almost every day (except Fridays when Sam had kitchen duty). Sam was bursting to tell his brother about the classes and the other Herald Trainees. They were both grateful for their parents’ insistence on their schooling—it had them far ahead in Valdemaran and World History, as well as maths and other basic subjects.</p><p>“I start classes on my Gifts next half semester,” Sam told Dean a few weeks into their new lives. “Dalian is keeping things in check for me for now, but I’ll learn to shield and stuff starting after the fall holiday.”</p><p>Dean nodded, mouth full of pot pie. “We are starting on some steam work then, too. It’s like they want us to have the semester to get used to things.”</p><p>Sam agreed. “I am excited to get into weapons class. I asked the dean if you could join me!”</p><p>“Me?” Dean chewed and continued. “You’re better than me by a mile, why?”</p><p>“Kerowyn will kick both of our asses, as you well know, so I figured we should have each other’s backs.”</p><p>“Alright, as long as my teachers are okay with it,” Dean said. “You know I’m a better rider than you, not a better swordsman.”</p><p>“The other trainees say that Kerowyn drills them on all kinds of weapons and hand to hand stuff,” Sam said. “You’ll find something you’re better at. You sure as hell can beat me at wrestling.”</p><p>“Something I never understood, given your giant arms and legs,” Dean said, kicking his brother’s shin under the table.</p><p>“Hey!”</p><p>The bells rang, and the brothers cleared their food and were off to their next round of classes.</p><p>As the season turned, they saw the same amount of each other. They met often in Companion’s Field, where Dean watched Sam learn riding techniques atop Dalian.</p><p>They took a cool off walk, Dalian just behind them, as the other Companions grazed nearby. <em>Looks like some kind of painting</em>, Dean thought.</p><p>“So what’s it like?” he said to Sam as they passed the Grove.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Being a Herald. Having a Companion.”</p><p>Sam laughed. “I mean, I’m not a Herald yet, I’ve barely started!”</p><p>“That’s not what I mean.”</p><p>Sam looked at his brother. “I mean, it’s kind of hard to explain. Having Dalian... it’s like, something was missing, and I never knew it was missing, and now I’m whole. Like there’s always someone with me and beside who would never leave me.” He paused for a moment and let his Companion catch up, turning and petting his velvet nose gently. He smiled into Dean’s eyes. “Like having another brother.”</p><p>Dalian whickered and rubbed his nose on Sam’s sweaty shirt. Sam got a far-away look, one Dean had decided meant that the Companion was talking to Sam, and then said, “I guess it might be like falling in love. But not romantically?”</p><p>Dean just stared at the two of them. “Sounds like all the tales and songs, for sure.”</p><p>Dalian pointedly winked at Dean, his blue eyes amused. “Dalian says that glorious destinies get you glorious funerals,” Sam said with a laugh in his voice. He looked thoughtful. “Are you... are you jealous?”</p><p>Dean nearly choked. “No, gods, of course not. I always wanted to build things, not defend the kingdom!”</p><p>“Well, good!” Sam punched his brother’s shoulder gently. “I wouldn’t want you to be mad at me.”</p><p>“Not at all. I want you to do well, but I am not interested in those white uniforms. Or riding around on a literal target.”</p><p>“I look dashing,” Sam said, drawing himself up to his full height. “Don’t you think?”</p><p>Dean had the chance to catch Dalian’s eyes, and the Companion rolled them in a very human fashion, making Dean spit another laugh.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next few weeks passed quickly, with Dean and Sam only catching a few minutes together at meals.  Sam was nervous about starting his Gifts training, Dean could tell from how much time he was spending with Dalian out in the Field.  They obviously had a lot to talk about.</p><p> </p><p>Rufus, Dean’s maths professor, wanted to put him in the next level class already, and Dean couldn’t decide what to do himself. He wished, a few times, that he had a reliable friend like Sam did.  He’d written his mother about classes and the challenges of high-level math and the steam powered machines the Artificers were working on, and her return letter had not been much help.  She supported him, of course, but couldn’t tell him what to do.  “You are charting your own path,” she wrote to him.  “Do what feels rights to you.”</p><p> </p><p>Sam’s initial Gift training class was outdoors, near the Field, and he invited Dean to listen in the first day.  It was a bright, crisp autumn day, and with the Companions roaming around, Dean was again reminded of a painting as he wandered up to the semi-circle of four trainees, all in gray, sitting comfortably on the grass.</p><p> </p><p>Herald Castiel stood before them in his whites.  He and Dean has seen each other a few times in the halls and been cordial, but listening to Sam talk about how great a teacher he was for Valdemaran history had also made him interested in seeing the class.</p><p> </p><p>“First things first, we’ll do introductions,” Castiel was saying as Dean came into earshot.  The groans from the group made sense to him, having done so many of his own introductions.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel’s smile was a flash of white that was echoed in the flash of his blue eyes.  “No, I know, but I want you all to know your names and your Gifts because you’ll be working together extensively.”</p><p> </p><p>Sam raised his hand.  Castiel pointed to him and nodded.  “I’m Sam Winchester,” he said.  “I’ve got Mage Gift and Mindspeech.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel nodded. “Good to have you here, Sam.  All of you, Sam is an Adept-Class trainee, so sometimes we will be helping him with supportive magics, but that will come later.”</p><p> </p><p>There was a hush, but then the young girl next to Sam spoke up.  She pushed her dark hair out of her face.  “I’m Eileen,” she said, her voice soft and her annunciation deliberate.  Her hands moved along with her speech in a controlled and careful way, much more than gesticulation.  Dean didn’t know what the hand gestures meant, but Castiel obviously did.  “I am Gifted with Mindspeech, Fetching, and a Journeyman level Mage Gift.”<br/>
<br/>
“Welcome, Eileen,” Castiel said, his hands also moving, making her smile.  “Next?”</p><p> </p><p>Dean put it together as the next two (Bela, who haughtily said she was a Master level Mage and Far Seer, and Mackenzie, Gifted with Journeyman Mage Gift, Animal Mindspeech, and Firestarting, whose shortcropped red hair left Dean unsure of their gender).  Eileen was using sign language; she was deaf.  But everyone in the group made sure to look at her when they spoke so she could read their lips, and Castiel continued to sign as he spoke.</p><p> </p><p>“Good to know you all,” he said.  “Today, we are doing to learn to ground and center.  This is the beginning to learning to shield yourselves properly.  You all have mind magic, so we will start there.  The principles are similar between guarding your mind and guarding yourself from magic.”  He took a graceful seat on the ground with his students.  “Sit cross legged with me.”</p><p> </p><p>They all complied.  “Now, four deep breaths.  And when you’re done, I want you to close your eyes—Eileen, you can keep yours open-- and feel the earth underneath you.  I want you to feel like you are rooted into the ground, like your spine has roots that extend deep down.”</p><p> </p><p>The students all seemed to relax. Castiel watched them intently.</p><p> </p><p>“Feel it?”  No one moved.  “Now, feel the earth’s warmth as part of you.  I know that sounds ridiculous but feel the roots below you warmed by the sun and by your heart.  And let that spread within you.  Feel that warmth become like a piece of paper that surrounds you, thin and flexible and warm but tough enough to withstand poking.”</p><p> </p><p>Bela giggled.  “This is very important,” Castiel said.  His tone was more serious than Dean had heard before.  “Without the proper start, your shields can fail and you’ll be vulnerable to attack and possibly death.”</p><p> </p><p>That stilled any laughter.  “Do you feel both your roots and the warmth?”<br/>
<br/>
There were nods.  Dean was honestly impressed; it seemed so esoteric, but the kids seemed to get it.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to poke your shields now.  I want you to resist me.  Is that okay?”  He paused.  “I always ask permission because if I get past them, I could hear your thoughts and I don’t want to do that without your permission.”</p><p> </p><p>There were nods.  They were all breathing deeply, holding still.</p><p> </p><p>Dean saw a look of concentration pass over Castiel’s face.  His eyes closed, and a bead of sweat had started on his brow.  Dean wasn’t sure how much time passed.<br/>
<br/>
Castiel took an audible breath, and his eyes popped open. “Very good!  I couldn’t get past any of your initial shields.  But now we have to do this, over and over, until you can ground and center without trying, like a reflex, on Companion back, swinging a sword, anything. You must keep your shields up at all times.  And when we learn to use magical energy to do this for your physical bodies, you must do the same.  I’ll see you tomorrow right here, and I’ll try my best to distract you.  I’ll push you over, make loud noises, but you’ll have to keep your shields strong.  Practice keeping your shield in place tonight.”<br/>
<br/>
They all nodded but to Dean, they also looked tired.  Like the testing from Herald Castiel had been harder than it looked.  <em>I’ll have to ask Sam about it.</em></p><p> </p><p>Castiel got up and helped each student to their feet, one at a time, and Dean could tell he was quietly congratulating them.</p><p> </p><p>Sam saw Dean and jogged over.  “Dean!”<br/>
<br/>
Dean waved.  “Looked like you were all just sitting around in the sun,” he joked.<br/>
<br/>
Sam shook his head.  “It was so weird!  Like someone touching your shirt but you don’t feel it on your skin because their hand never makes it to your arm or whatever.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean just nodded, not really understanding how that would work with brains.<br/>
<br/>
Castiel also walked over.  “Sam, was your brother here the whole time?”</p><p> </p><p>Sam nodded.  “Yeah, I told him when we were meeting for training, I thought he’d want to see—"<br/>
<br/>
The older Herald cut him off.  “When we start to use energy to shield, you could put your brother in danger—a stray magical attack could blind or maim him.  Even with this sort of shielding, him being here could cause your concentration to fray, and that can leave you open to attack.  It’s very important for us to protect people who don’t have Gifts from some of their ill effects.”</p><p> </p><p>Sam blinked, the idea of his brother coming to harm washing over him in a nauseating wave.  “Oh, gods, Herald Castiel, I’m so sorry, I didn’t—"<br/>
<br/>
“You didn’t think and you didn’t know.  I understand that you want to share with him, but I can’t have anyone come to harm.”<br/>
<br/>
Dean crossed his arms. “I can take care of myself, thank you.  I was all the way over here, and Sam knows I would never interfere with his training.”</p><p><br/>
Castiel turned his blue eyes on Dean, cutting like an ice flow.  “Dean, you want to support your brother, fine, but I am absolutely serious.  You can’t loiter on the outskirts of these lessons. You can’t protect him from himself in this case.  If you show up during one of these classes again, I’ll report you.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean felt a wash of hot anger surge but clamped down on it.  He couldn’t risk his place at the school. “Yes, sir,” he said, hoping it didn’t sound too angry.  “Sam will just have to fill me in.”</p><p><br/>
Sam pushed his sweaty hair away from his face.  “I’m sorry, sir.”<br/>
<br/>
Castiel just nodded.  “This isn’t a fairy tale, and your training is hard work and will take practice.  We can’t afford distractions, especially with a gift as powerful as yours, Sam.  Remember that.”</p><p> </p><p>Sam nodded and hesitantly walked away, Dean in his wake, to where Dalian was waiting for them.</p><p> </p><p>The Companion had watched the interaction, but Sam had never gotten the far-away, Companion-talking look, so Dean had to assume he agreed with Herald Castiel.  But Dean was in no mood to hear anyone back up these ridiculous rules.</p><p> </p><p>“Sam, I need to meet with my professor about going into a higher-level math course, I’ll see you later,” Dean said abruptly as the three of them were going back toward the Collegia.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, um, I’ll see you at dinner?” Sam said, swinging up onto Dalian’s bare back.  “We’ll go for a ride, if you’re heading off.”<br/>
<br/>
“Sure, yeah,” Dean said, walking quickly away and waving to Sam.</p><p> </p><p><em>That stodgy bastard</em>, Dean thought during the walk back to his room.  <em>Rules, rules, rules.  Sam is my brother, and he asked me to look in on him and talked so much about what a great teacher Castiel is, and look at this.  Mother and Father want me to keep him safe, they always have.</em></p><p> </p><p>He flopped onto his bed, unsure why Castiel’s rule bothered him so much.  None of their other interactions had been like that.  His eyes had been so hard.  <em>Had something happened before?  Had someone been hurt?</em></p><p> </p><p>Dean wasn’t sure, and he didn’t bring it up at dinner, laughing appropriately as Sam talked about Dalian pushing him into a stream to wash off after their ride.  But he didn’t want Sam to be reprimanded, so he decided to let it go and didn’t return to the training ground while Sam and his cohort were learning their mental shields.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~<br/>
<br/>
Dean kept his head down for a week, avoiding Castiel and to a degree Sam.</p><p> </p><p>The last thing he expected was to see Castiel speaking to Rufus in the halls, stopping Dean in his tracks as he was coming to ask a question during Rufus’s office hours.</p><p> </p><p>Dean turned down another hall and waited for Castiel to walk by on his way back to the Herald’s Collegium.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey!” Dean said to his white-clad back.  “I haven’t been back to your training area, what’s the deal?”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel stopped and turned, his face going from confused to stony.  “Dean, that is not what I was speaking to Rufus about.  I’ve appreciated you adhering to that boundary.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean crossed him arms, suspicious.  “Then what?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s really none of your business.”</p><p> </p><p>“It is if it’s about me!”</p><p> </p><p>“It isn’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“I really don’t believe you.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel took a few steps closer to Dean. “Rufus was my teacher before I was Chosen, and I came to see how he was doing.  Not that it’s your business, but he was ill last semester, before you and Sam came, and I wanted to make sure everything was okay.  You don’t always have to think the worst of me, Dean.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean knew he made a face.  “Why shouldn’t I?  Even with a Companion, you pretty much told me I was a terrible brother and to stay away from my own sibling!”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel glared. “If anything, Dean, you are too good a brother—Sam is nearly an adult, he’ll be a Herald soon, and he doesn’t need your coddling!”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Coddling!”</p><p><br/>
“Yes, coddling!  You watch him like a hawk, he considers your views before his own when he makes choices—you’re practically his conscience.  He needs space from you to be his own person, and you need to see how things go when you make <em>your</em> own decisions, too, without only considering his wellbeing—over yours!”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s my job, he’s my brother—”<br/>
<br/>
“—yes, your brother, not your son or your responsibility!  Obviously you’ve had to care for him in ways that are not appropriate for a brother—”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Are you saying my parents didn’t know what they were doing!?”  Dean felt his voice rising, anger like a flare going off in his chest.</p><p> </p><p>“They must have told you over and over to watch him, to make sure he was safe, and that wasn’t <em>your</em> job, it was theirs!  If you never let anything happen to him, then Dean, nothing will ever happen to him—good or bad!”</p><p> </p><p>Dean seethed and stepped forward—they were so close that he could have punched Castiel, and he felt the muscles in his arms twitch.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t know anything about us, flouncing around here with your name and your status, you don’t know anything about what we went through---”<br/>
<br/>
“I don’t!” Castiel interrupted, his voice echoing in the hall. “I don’t, but I had my own troubles and my own story, and you don’t get to cast judgement when you-“ and then Castiel poked him in the chest with one finger, emphasizing each word “-don’t. know. me.  But I know my job, and that’s to teach Sam to shield and to use his power safely—for him and for others, and if you can’t support that for him, then you’re no brother to him.”  The finality of the sentence chilled the air in the hallway.</p><p> </p><p>Dean felt his fists clench.  “I will not listen to this horseshit,” he said, eyes locked on Castiel’s.  “Sam is everything to me, and I’d die for him, and if he needs me, I’d fight you and the whole Circle to get to him.  See what I’d do, go on.”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel shook his head.  “I know what I could do, and I could report this argument to your Dean.  But I won’t, because you haven’t actually violated my boundary.  But Dean, I will not hesitate to send you packing back to your sheep if you ever, <em>ever</em> cause any of my students to falter because you can’t obey a simple command---because your unhealthy obsession with protecting Sam causes you to do some idiotic thing.”  His eyes were icy, boring into Dean’s.  “Do you understand me, trainee?”</p><p> </p><p>Dean stared right back, frustration clenching his heart—he knew he couldn’t say no, that he couldn’t fight against that threat.  “Fine,” he finally said.  Dean took a deliberate step back and unclenched his hands with effort.  “Fine.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good.”  Castiel gave him once last, cold look and turned his back on Dean in an unmistakable dismissal, making his way down the hall and out a side stairwell.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My personal Lake Evendim headcanon is that it looks like Crater Lake in Oregon (but bigger).</p><p>Inspiration for Aoife: https://youtu.be/CUcY9jll7NE</p><p>Thank you for your kudos and comments!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When the weather was turning to winter, they would start on the magical shields, and Sam asked Dean to walk by a few times, just so Sam knew he was there.  Dean protested, the memory of those icy eyes prominent even weeks later, but relented when Sam promised that he would ask Dalian to keep an eye out for anything going wrong.</p><p> </p><p>It was a clear but chilly afternoon when Dean left the advanced calculus class with Rufus and made his way to the corner by Companions Field where Sam told him he and Castiel would be working on his magical shields.  They were going to work alone, according to Sam, because of Sam’s high potential.  “The other students can’t access the power nodes that I can, so they can learn from others.  Herald Castiel has learned from Elspeth and the others to train me for that, so we will work together.  I’m doing well with the mind shielding, so he thinks I’m ready.”</p><p> </p><p><em>Just walk by</em>, Dean thought as he rounded one of the barrier fences (not that the Companions needed them; they could open the gates and easily jump them but also valued their privacy at times).</p><p> </p><p>The gray and white specks in the distance solidified into Sam and Castiel, sitting cross-legged across from one another and deep in conversation.  Dean stopped when he could see them clearly enough to see their mouths move but didn’t come any closer.  He could just barely make out Sam’s laugh.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel reached across and patted Sam’s knee.  They settled down, and there wasn’t any additional talking.  They must be speaking mind to mind.  Dean leaned on the tree, disturbing a woodpecker who moved higher up.  “Sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>Time passed, and neither of them moved.  But Dean could see the concentration on Sam’s face even at that distance.  Whatever they were trying to do was difficult for someone new to it.  Castiel’s face remained impassive, but Dean had the sense that somewhere beyond he couldn’t see, he was guiding Sam.</p><p> </p><p>There was a burst of cold wind, and after Dean blinked away the dust, he could see a sheen around Sam, like looking out of the corner of his eye at the sun.  He could just barely see it, a heat shimmer that distorted the view behind it.</p><p> </p><p>But Sam’s face hadn’t changed, even with the shield in place, and Castiel’s had taken on some concern.  The wind rose again, and Dean felt an anxiety rise in his chest and clamp around his heart.  <em>What’s wrong?  What are they doing?</em></p><p> </p><p>He moved toward them without telling his feet to start forward, spurred on the by the way Sam’s face changed from concentration to searching to concern, his eyes tightly shut.</p><p> </p><p>There was a crackle in the air, and the shimmer made an audible pop that echoed against the Collegias’ walls, shattering into a billion tiny sparkles—and Dean felt that noise reverberate in an unnatural way, the noise itself like sparks against his skin.</p><p> </p><p>He was suddenly nearer to Sam than he should have been, right there, seeing the pain and confusion on his face and nothing else---and he saw from the corner of his eye, as his arms reached out to grab his brother and toss him to the ground--placing himself between Sam and the noise—a second sun rushing toward the hidden training ground.<br/>
<br/>
From somewhere outside of himself, Dean heard Castiel yell out a warning.<br/>
<br/>
But he wasn’t sure to whom, as the wave of light hit him.  Before it did, Dean saw Castiel’s hands move in a twisting motion, one toward where Sam lay in a shocked pile and one toward Dean---and the light’s brilliance changed from sunblast to fireblast as it overwhelmed him and his back hit the grass.</p><p> </p><p>__________________________________________________________________</p><p> </p><p>Dean opened his eyes to noise.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t sure how much time has passed.  His head felt like someone had beaten it with a hammer, and his ears were ringing and so many people were talking all at once.  Under the din, he could hear pounding footsteps.</p><p> </p><p>Eyes on the cold sky, he stayed right where he was, the fiery light from what seemed like days before coming back to him—the noise, the light, Sam---</p><p> </p><p><em>:DAL:</em> came a yell that rocked Dean’s ears.  <em>:DAL I NEED YOU:</em></p><p><br/>
Both hands over his ears, Dean groaned at the volume.</p><p> </p><p>Now there were hoof beats somewhere under the din, he couldn’t tell how many, but they made his head throb even more.  “Fuck,” he croaked, closing his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean!”  It was Sam, scrambling to his side.  “Dean, are you okay!?”<br/>
<br/>
<em>He’s okay, he’s okay</em>---“SHHH,” Dean said, eyes still shut, hands still over his ears.  Anxiety like an axe beat at him.  “Too loud.”</p><p> </p><p>“Loud?” Sam said, lowering his voice despite the confusion in it.  “It’s not loud out here, what are you talking about?”</p><p> </p><p>“Wha-“ Dean was cut off by another burst of yelling.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p><em>:LANDRY, SEND FOR BOBBY.  WE HAVE A SITUATION:</em><br/>
<br/>
“LOUD, I said,” Dean shouted in the direction of the yelling.</p><p> </p><p>Sam shifted audibly.  “No one said anything, Dean.”<br/>
<br/>
The hoofbeats slowed and stopped.</p><p> </p><p>Dean kept his eyes shut.  It was too loud, too much.  <em>Who all had showed up?  Why were they all talking at once?  Who kept yelling?  Why did the yelling voices sound different?</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>:CASTIEL GET A SHIELD ON HIM NOW: </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Dean groaned again. “Can we NOT yell, please?”<br/>
<br/>
A cool hand was suddenly on his forehead and silence dropped like a heavy blanket onto his chest.  The anxiety had stopped stabbing him, and he heaved a breath.  “Lord and Lady, thank you,” Dean said as he blinked his eyes open and met—</p><p> </p><p>--a pair of blue eyes and a white mane—</p><p> </p><p><em>:I’m Aoife,:</em> said the softest and warmest voice he’d ever heard. <em>:I Choose you.  Sorry it had to end up like this, Dean dear.:</em></p><p> </p><p>--it echoed in his heart, a mandate to love so primal and inexhaustible that tears leaked in a sudden, hot streak from his eyes.  It overwhelmed, stretched him—unconditional.  He ached and shuddered away from it, but like a tide, he couldn’t fight it, no matter how little he felt like he deserved a gift that priceless.</p><p> </p><p>He remembered once, swimming out as far as he could go in Lake Evendim, and how he could see straight to the bottom but could never hold his breath long enough to reach it—that was depth of this love, both seen and yet unknowable.</p><p> </p><p><em>:Of course you’re worthy, Dean.  I know you: </em>the voice said again, the blue eyes so soft.<em>  :I wouldn’t make such a mistake.:</em></p><p> </p><p>Dean closed his eyes again, glad that the crowd had gone so he could let the waves subside, feeling at once overjoyed and nauseated.  He looked up and around and met another pair of blue eyes, attached to the hand on his forehead.  “Wait, Castiel?”</p><p> </p><p>“Me.”  He sighed. “Bobby is on his way from the Healer’s to look you and Sam over.  I told you. I told you both.”</p><p> </p><p>Sam was still there.  “Told us what?”<br/>
<br/>
“That training a power like yours is hard work and could have consequences.  Sam” – Castiel looked into Sam’s eyes, Dean aware of his every move and the hand on his forehead becoming slightly clammy.</p><p> </p><p>“Sam, you reached for the Heartstone’s power to bulk up your shield, and in doing so, you pushed against your shield, causing it to collapse and go outward—”<br/>
<br/>
In his mind, Dean heard the pop again, saw himself shoving Sam away--<br/>
<br/>
“And it escaped the shielded area with the extra power behind it.  If Landry hadn’t helped me get a shield over you and transmute the power as it reached your brother, you’d both be dead.  You owe him your lives.”</p><p> </p><p>“Dead!?”  Sam’s voice was agony.  Dean groaned as the anxiety started hitting him again.  The silence persisted, but the axe hurt.</p><p> </p><p>“I tried my best—we tried our best.  I’m no mage. I was able to keep you from the brunt of it, it would have been more damaging to your channels, but it hit Dean and I’m not sure—” He paused.  “Oh.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Dean echoed, his voice low to save his own pounding head.</p><p> </p><p>“Landry says that Dean hasn’t only been Chosen---Aoife here—”</p><p> </p><p>Dean felt the nausea rise again.</p><p> </p><p>“—but his previously sealed channels have been split open.  Bobby will have to tell us what Gifts he has, but he has them now.”  Castiel’s eyes met Dean’s, blue to green, with sympathy.</p><p> </p><p>Dean felt the look solidify between them, felt it like a slap, something pinging in the air between that neither of them wanted to acknowledge.  This was the closest they’d been since their argument.</p><p> </p><p>“Welcome to the Heraldic Circle, Dean.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean turned his head and threw up.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've added a few notes to the previous chapters.  Thank you all for reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Are you serious?” Sam said, his voice quavering.  He was breathing like he’d run across Companions Field, gasping.<br/><br/>“Absolutely,” Castiel said, his hand never moving from Dean’s forehead.  Dean took a moment to spit.<br/><br/>“Not your fault, Sam,” Dean said, scrunching his eyes shut again as another wave of anxiety pushed against him.  His stomach rolled again, but he managed to clamp it down.</p><p> </p><p>“It is!”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Dean insisted.  “Get checked out by the Healers.  I’ll be fine.  We can talk later.”  He gritted out the last bit, eyes shut tightly again.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel did not move, but Dean heard one of the sets of hooves (Dalian) come around him.  He must be getting Sam calmed down.  Dean could hear his brother’s breathing start to slow.</p><p> </p><p>There were more footsteps and a wash of air as Castiel’s hand was exchanged for another, rougher and larger than the herald’s.<br/><br/>“I’m Bobby,” a gruff voice said after a few seconds.  The noise had come up and gone again as the hands switched.  “Castiel, what happened?”<br/><br/>Castiel explained again.  “We need to get him to a shielded room and make sure he isn’t damaged any further.  Can you keep him shielded if we get him up on Aoife’s back?  She needs to stay with him to solidify the bond.”<br/><br/>“Fine, but I want the boy to come as well.  Get up on your Companion and tell the healer on watch we need the back room and to check you out for any damage.  Got it?”<br/><br/></p><p>Sam must have nodded because there was nothing but a rustle of cloth and the sound of Dalian racing away at his top speed.  The beating axe also receded.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean?” Castiel said.  “Can you get up?”</p><p> </p><p>His head still felt like it was split apart.  “I think so.”  Dean opened his eyes and turned his head a little, seeing Aoife near him.  He reached out to her, scooting himself on his back toward her, and she knelt carefully down so he could turn and put his outstretched arm over her back.  She helped him to his feet.  At the touch, the warmth around his heart increased ten-fold, and he shuddered again, pushing it away.</p><p> </p><p><em>:Stop,:</em> she said quietly, the Mindspeech tinged with the same love as her first words.  <em>:I’m here.  I’m not going anywhere.  We can talk more when you’re resting at the Healer’s.:</em></p><p> </p><p>“Do you think he can ride?” Bobby asked.  Dean took him in, green robes and a gruff face and beard to match his voice.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel was already mounted on his Companion, Landrython, who was saddled and bridled. “Either way, let’s get going.”  He looked at Dean, uncertainty in his eyes.  “Can you--?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m the better rider of the family,” Dean said.  “Aoife, can you-“  He did not stop to think about what she meant or what talking to her meant.<br/><br/>She already knew and knelt again so he could mount.  He wound his hands into her mane and leaned against the back of her head.</p><p> </p><p>Bobby turned to Castiel. “I’m not shielding him now, are you?”<br/><br/>Castiel shook his head. “I think Aiofe is.”</p><p> </p><p>Beneath him, Dean felt her nod her head.</p><p><br/>“Landry says she can do that until he can.”  Castiel reached down to help Bobby up behind him.  “Let’s get him to the shield room and I’ll alert Talia as well.”  He paused, then added, “And Elspeth and Darkwind—they were alerted to Sam’s overreach.”<br/><br/><em>Talia?</em></p><p> </p><p>They were off, Landry moving more quickly than Aoife, who was trying to keep Dean from being jarred too much.</p><p> </p><p><em>:Talia,:</em> she confirmed.  Her voice was a whisper in his aching head.  <em>:Castiel and Landry did their best, but the transmuted energy has opened up several Gifts for you, and one of them is Empathy.  Talia is the best person to help you with that.  She had her own struggles with her ability in that area.:  </em>She paused as they turned toward the Healer’s. <em>:Thankfully, you also have Mindspeech so we can talk. She and Rolan, bless them, can only send emotions between each other.:</em><br/><br/>Dean was shaking all over from the exertion of staying in place on her back. <em>:We’re almost there,:</em> she said.  <em>:Stay with me.  You can sleep and have some willowbark tea when you wake up.:<br/></em><br/>Dean made a gagging noise, making Aoife laugh quietly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>:Awful stuff, I know – but I won’t leave.  I’ll be right outside your window.:</em>
</p><p> </p><p>They came to a slow stop, and Aoife carefully knelt again, letting Dean slide off of her back in a heap his riding teacher would have scolded him for.</p><p> </p><p>Bobby was there to help him rise again and took him to a cool, dark room just off the entrance to the House of Healing.  Immediately, it was deadly silent and nothing was beating at him.  But he could still feel Aoife, outside the small window, and the string of love that tied them together.</p><p> </p><p><em>Fuck</em>, he thought, as Bobby turned the bed down.  Dean took the hint with a look of gratitude, some of the ache in his head subsiding as he hit the pillow.</p><p> </p><p>Sam was there suddenly, taking Dean’s hand.  Dean was startled to see that he’d been crying. “Dean, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” he said in a rush.</p><p> </p><p>“Not your fault,” Dean said again.  The pillow was scented with lavender.<br/><br/>“It is, I asked you to come, I asked, and now you’re hurt—”<br/><br/>“Sam,” Dean squeezed his hand. “Sam, you’re my brother. You didn’t try to hurt me. And we can figure this out together-“<br/><br/>“But right now,” Bobby interjected, “Dean needs to sleep and then he will need to get used to this new reality. You had to do the same, and you’ve had months to bond with Dalian and learn about yourself.”<br/><br/>Dean forced himself to nod despite the pain.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Sam said with a sniff.  “I’ll go but I’m not going far.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, Sammy, then I’ll be here.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean let his eyes drift shut.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean, I want you to drink this before you sleep this off,” Bobby said, offering him a glass of what looked like water.  “It’s not willowbark, it’ll just help you sleep.”<br/><br/>Dean downed it as fast as he could, the aftertaste a little like a rotten lemon.</p><p> </p><p>Bobby took the glass back and left in a swirl of green robes.  “Sleep,” he said as he closed the door.</p><p> </p><p>Dean couldn’t really think of anything else he wanted to do.  The headache was easing, and it was blissfully quiet in the still room.</p><p> </p><p>In his mind, Dean felt raw, like someone had sandpapered the inside of his entire skull.  He felt the tie to Aoife acutely; in the midst of the ache, it felt almost like a whip burn.</p><p> </p><p><em>:That won’t last,: she</em> said, her voice tender.  She was still whispering to spare him. <em>:I wish I could be there with you but just out here will have to do.:</em></p><p> </p><p><em>:You know,:</em> she added, as Dean felt unconsciousness creeping in, :<em>it’s impossible to lie when we speak this way. I Chose you, and you are worthy, Dean.  And I will help you get through this in any way I can.:</em></p><p> </p><p><em>And what if that means I want something different?</em> Dean thought at her, not really sure if it would work.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>:You’re already different.  You’ll be just fine.:</em>
</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Interlude One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel hurt all over, his head aching from overreach.  Elspeth, Darkwind, and Talia were on their way to his rooms.</p><p><br/>Sam thankfully was with Dalian, according to Landry, who was trying to reassure Sam that he had made a mistake, not something the Companion would ever repudiate him for.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel finished making a small mug of willowbark tea and downed it as fast he could, unsure why the healers could never mask the taste.  But it worked, as always, and he felt some of the ache subside.</p><p> </p><p>He could see Dean’s shocked green eyes in his mind, Aoife’s blue ones—usually such a beautiful moment but Castiel knew that, like Vanyel, Dean had a long road ahead.  Gifts pushed onto someone were usually very strong and very volatile, and Aoife’s influence would be the only thing that kept them in check until Dean could be trained.</p><p> </p><p><em>And this is the last thing that he wants,</em> Castiel thought to himself.  <em>What have I done?<br/></em><br/><em>:Saved his life,:</em> came Landry’s voice<em>. :You saved them both.  Sam could have destroyed half the capital with the power he started to pull.  You’re a hero, Cas.  Although I helped, of course.:</em></p><p> </p><p>He heaved a sigh, opening the main door to his rooms for the incoming guests before he sat down again<em>. :I’ve also ruined his life. He’s heir to the Winchester lands, here to learn to create things. Now he’s going to have to be a Herald. He’s going to resent the whole affair.:</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>:Aoife is no fool.  She will be able to help set him straight. You knew he had potential anyway.:</em>
</p><p><br/>Castiel had sensed it, yes, but it had only been potential. <em>:Well, now we will see what he can do.:</em></p><p> </p><p>There was a soft knock, and the trio came into the room and shut the door.  “Castiel, what happened?”  Talia was first to ask.</p><p> </p><p>He explained, including, as he hadn’t with Sam and Dean, the part about the potential blast of Heartstone energy which he and Landry had been able to divert.</p><p> </p><p>Talia was as shocked as Elspeth and Darkwind.  “How did he have access to it?” the Tayledras asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know, it all happened so fast that I couldn’t figure that out.”<br/><br/>“I did something similar once, when Hydona was training me,” Elspeth said.  “I was using ley lines and it was boring, and I reached—but she stopped me before I could connect to the broken K’Shenya heartstone.”  Darkwind nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“She was able to stop me, but you stopped the blast. But it richoted onto Sam’s brother?”<br/><br/>“Yes, and now he’s been Chosen and is in the House of Healing to be monitored.  He now has Gifts, plural. Landry tells me that his Empathy gift is especially strong.” Castiel looked sidelong at Talia.  “That’s why I asked you here.  I think you may need to help him personally.”<br/><br/>“I certainly can,” Talia said.  “This is fairly unprecedented.  How long has it been since had someone who had Gifts forced upon them this way?”<br/><br/>“Vanyel,” said Eslpeth and Darkwind at the same time, sharing a look.</p><p> </p><p>Castiel just nodded.  “Right. And like with Vanyel, with their forced opening, his powers will be very strong. I think, and I’ll ask Bobby to confirm, that he has the very strong Empathy, strong Mindspeech and Thoughtsensing.  Other than that, I’m not sure.”</p><p> </p><p>Elspeth looked concerned.  “How are you, Cas?”</p><p> </p><p>“Tired. I took some willowbark tea before you got here. If Landry hadn’t been able to help me, I think the strike would have killed them both in addition to all the damage it would have caused.  The shield I threw over Sam barely held—Landry really guided me--”</p><p> </p><p>“You did exactly what you needed to do,” Talia said before he could finish. “And I know you warned Dean away from the training areas, he should have known.”</p><p> </p><p>“He did,” Castiel said. “Sam told me that he asked Dean to come to see him work, practically begged. He blames himself.”  He paused. “But I have a feeling that Dean is going to blame me, rather than Sam.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” Darkwind looked confused.</p><p> </p><p>“I told him to stay away from the training grounds and was not terribly nice about it.  We argued about his protectiveness and it nearly came to blows. But I also told him we transmuted the blast and it still hit him, it just didn’t kill him, so I think he will tell me I didn’t do enough or that I caused this.  I don’t know.” Castiel shook his head, looking down.</p><p> </p><p>The others exchanged a look. “I think we just have to burn that bridge when we come to it,” Darkwind said, fouling the saying in a way that made Elspeth laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly,” Talia said, rising to leave. “Get some rest, Castiel.  You have tomorrow to recover. I’ll check in on Dean Winchester when he’s awake tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>They left after a few more pleasant words, and Castiel went to his bed exhausted and feeling strange, like everything was titled.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>:Landry?:<br/><br/>:Everything okay, Cas?:</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>:Do you feel off?  Is it just me?:<br/></em><br/><em>:You did really overexert yourself. But no, I feel fine, only tired.: </em>The Companion paused. <em>:Wait.:</em></p><p> </p><p>He felt Landy in his mind, combing around. It was gentle, but it still felt odd, like someone running cold hands through his hair.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>:I think we may have a problem.:</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>:What? My shields are fine.:</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>:No, I think the transmuted energy affected you too, when we changed it so it wouldn’t harm Dean.: </em>Landry’s mindvoice was full of humor, something that Castiel knew didn’t bode well.  He was a terrible trickster when he had the mind.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>:But how?:</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>:Feel for Dean. You’ve met him a few times, you know his mind.:</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Castiel let his eyes drift shut and reached out, carefully, to find Dean in the healer’s shielded room.  He didn’t expect to be able to, given how limited his Mindspeech was.</p><p> </p><p>Whatever he expected, the instant connection <em>through</em> the room’s heavy shields to Dean’s sleeping mind was not it.  The connection was so immediate and strong, like Dean was in the same room.  Castiel could see a brief image from Dean’s dream, something with fog—the connection was traced with energy and---</p><p> </p><p><em>:Oh no,:</em> Castiel said both to Landry and out loud to the empty room.</p><p> </p><p><em>:Oh yes:</em> Landry said, his voice only slightly more serious. <em>:That’s a lifebond.:</em></p><p> </p><p>Landry was silent for several minutes.  Castiel lay there motionless, the weight of the revelation pinning him in place as much as Landry sitting on him would have.  He sent the image to his Companion in a moment of complete shock and humor.</p><p> </p><p>Landy’s snort of mental laughter was briefly rewarding.</p><p> </p><p><em>:We are barely know each other---we don’t even like each other.:</em> Castiel said to Landry, aghast.  <em>:Did you do this by accident?:</em><br/><br/><em>:Definitely not,:</em> Landry said, sounding very sure.  <em>:It must have been something you two would or could have potentially had, but my admittedly limited experience is that lifebonds don’t usually occur between Gifted and non-Gifted people.  Now that Dean has Gifts, this has presented itself.:<br/><br/>:That is certainly the most unromantic explanation of that that I’ve ever heard.:</em></p><p>
  
</p><p><em>:What’s more important is what you’re going to do about it.:<br/><br/>:Well.  Nothing.  Nothing!:</em>  Castiel let his eyes shut.  <em>:For one, he’s a trainee now, and I’m a teacher.  That’s not right.  And, he is probably going to hate me for ruining his life.:</em><br/><br/></p><p>Landry took a moment to think. <em>:Well, he won’t be a trainee forever.  And I am pretty sure that he wouldn’t give Aoife up, for the whole pack of Winchester sheep.:</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>:I’m going to count those sheep now and try to pretend this conversation never happened.:</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>:Alright, Cas, but believe me, I see this going somewhere and I am excited to watch.:</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>:You are the worst gossip of the herd.:</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>:Guilty.:</em>
</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This fic is not abandoned!  I am working on another one to fix the end of the show, so this one is on a little bit of a hold.  But I promise, Dean's journey as a Herald is just beginning!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean slept dreamlessly for a long time, but before dawn, he found himself back at Lake Evendim in the twilight.  There was fog all around him, fog which became horses and galloped past him in a stream, blowing his clothes and hair in the force of the gale.  The water did not bend beneath their hooves.  For a moment, one shape was vaguely human, but it disappeared so quickly, Dean barely registered it.</p><p><br/>Dean found that he couldn’t move, and the fear started to clench his chest.  The water rose, lapping around his feet and then his shins, and the fog horses continued to stream past him.  Could they even see—they didn’t have eyes, they were just the shapes of horses made from the vapor.</p><p> </p><p>The water rose again, and he started to shake.  He tried to cry out for help, but he couldn’t open his mouth.</p><p> </p><p><em>Help help HELP</em>, he thought, trying to move, trying to yell, trying to do anything but let the water take him.</p><p> </p><p><em>:Wake up, Dean!:</em> came a voice.  One of the vaporous shapes stopped and turned, solidifying and coming toward him.  <em>:Wake up!:</em></p><p> </p><p>Dean shot up in the small bed in the healer’s shielded room, chest heaving and feeling cold all over.<br/><br/><em>:Dean, you were projecting and it got past the shields, I think you scared half the patients—:</em></p><p> </p><p>“I what?”  Dean said, looking around.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>:I’ll explain but first, Bobby is coming and he’s going to make you eat and drink something.:</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The gruff healer opened the door moments after Aoife spoke, his face solemn, carrying a tray.  “Dean, I need you to eat this and drink this tea down, now.  I’ve already scolded your Companion for not shielding you well enough while you slept.”</p><p> </p><p>He pulled a rolling table over and put the tray down on it, ensuring Dean could eat and drink without leaving the bed.  “Dig in.”<br/><br/>Despite the early hour, Dean did feel hungry, so he ate the porridge and sliced apples, saving a slice for after the tea.  “This is willowbark, isn’t it?”<br/><br/>“Yes, but I honeyed it up as much as I could without diluting it too much.  You need some water, too.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean took a breath.  He knew better than to believe that honey did anything to cover the acrid taste of the tea, but he steeled himself and gulped it down as quickly as he could.  He then drank half the water and ate the reserved apple.  It helped, but not entirely.</p><p> </p><p>Bobby nodded approvingly.  “Good.”  He took the table and tray away.  “Do you feel up to me checking on the state of your head, boy, or do you want to rest more?”</p><p> </p><p>Dean took a moment to self-assess.  His skull felt less sandpapered, but only a little less.  “Would it hurt anything if I slept more?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not at all.  I am going to ask your Companion to make sure to guard you a little more carefully, but otherwise, you’re good in this room.  Talk to her and go back to sleep.  I’ll be back at the twelfth bell with something else for you to eat, and I’ll check things out then.”</p><p> </p><p>The residual headache started to fade thanks to the tea, but Dean did feel tired, somewhere deep down.  “Thank you,” he said, hoping that it could encompass a lot more than just the food.</p><p> </p><p>Bobby just nodded.  “You’re fine, boy.  Get that rest.”</p><p> </p><p>He took the tray and left, closing the door.</p><p> </p><p><em>:I was doing fine shielding you,:</em> Aoife said, her Mindvoice at more a normal volume than the day before. <em>:You just got past me.  It won’t happen again.:</em></p><p> </p><p>“So what happened?” Dean asked as he rearranged the bed to lay down again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>:You were having that nightmare, and you were afraid and couldn’t call for help, so your mind was yelling and pushing fear out with a lot of strength behind it.  That’s why I intervened to wake you up!  I worked to shield you better, too, but some of the fear had already escaped.:</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I guess I don’t understand.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>:Now that you have Empathy, you can project emotions out onto others, see what they are feeling, and even control what they feel, depending on your skill.:</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Ick,” Dean said.<br/><br/><em>:That would be a last resort.  Thankfully, I’m here to make sure you use your Gifts to help and not harm, unless necessary.:</em></p><p> </p><p><em>So how does this work?</em> Dean thought at her, unsure about how speak to her without saying it aloud as well.</p><p><br/><em>:That works fine,:</em> she said, amusement in her voice.  Every word that came into his head was traced with the same depth of love as the first words they had shared.  <em>:When Sam comes to visit, maybe you can practice with him, too.  Our connection is different from just speaking mind to mind.  You can block me from your thoughts if you really want, but our bond is there no matter what. With someone like Sam, you can keep him out entirely, and when you ‘speak,’ it’s more like real conversation, just with the traces of emotion and sometimes images.:</em></p><p> </p><p>Dean thought about that, turning onto his side and closing his eyes.  “I don’t know if I can do this,” he said out loud.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>:I’m sure you didn’t think you’d be able to fence or ride, either.  It’s another skill, and a powerful set of them.  I’m here to help you, and the whole Circle is a family who can aid you, too.  You’ll see.  But now, I want you to rest, my dear.:</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Dean sighed.  He started to relax, then jerked upright.  “Oh gods, my parents.  Did anyone—”</p><p> </p><p>Aoife interrupted him. <em>:They are aware that there was an accident and that you and Sam are safe and sound.  I counseled Gwena that you and Sam should break the news of the change in your… status to them in person.:</em></p><p> </p><p>“Oh, gods,” Dean said, sinking back down and covering his eyes with his arm. “Father is going to rip me apart.”  Midwinter was weeks away, and Lord Winchester wouldn’t know his heir was now unable to inherit for all that time.</p><p> </p><p><em>:Let him try,:</em> Aoife said, sending him an image of her in full tack and armor, rearing up with her silver hooves. <em>:I won’t let him touch you.:</em></p><p> </p><p>Dean felt an echoing protectiveness for Sam in his heart, although Aoife’s ferocity would have scared away an entire wyrsa pack.  <em>:Okay,:</em> he thought to her, it only twinging slightly to do<em>. :You and Dalian will have to keep him in check. He barely believes you’re intelligent.:</em></p><p> </p><p>Her amusement was palpable. <em>:Oh, he’ll believe.  But get some more rest, Dean.  Please.:</em></p><p> </p><p>He pulled the blanket up and had a few more questions to ask, but he didn’t get the chance to ask them as sleep pulled him down.</p>
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